The Lament of a Bad Dog Owner

The Lament of a Bad Dog Owner
~a poetry series~

Diamond took a dump today; I had no bags, to my dismay.
She popped a squat in the neighbor’s lawn; they called the cops but we were gone.
We had to dip, so we skipped out quick; after I flicked the shit up with a stick.
I promised I would not repeat the crime; but if you believe that you don’t know me and Dime.

The Lament of a Bad Dog Owner
~a poetry series~

Diamond pooped on the trail today; direct in the center with perfect aim.
My lament was enhanced now without a bag; ‘cause the first one broke, smeared poop on my leg.
All I could do was flick the shit; to the woods with a stick, then dip out quick.
I’m prepared next time with not one bag but two; until my sweet dog Dimey pulls the triple poo.

The Lament of a Bad Dog Owner
~a poetry series~

Today Diamond dumped on somebody’s lot; which made me remember the bag I forgot.
Right in the middle of her afternoon chore; the homeowner opened and stepped out the door.
She saw the whole thing, and I said “hate to nag”; “but do you by chance happen to have a bag?”
She said no, so I promised I’d be back; I returned for the poop to keep my conscience on track.

The Lament of a Bad Dog Owner
~a poetry series~ (FINAL)

This poetry series shares a common thought; one thing about Diamond – she pooped a lot.
Like, every day since she was bought. Yet, in my life she filled a spot.
That dog pushed me, to activity; so loyal, I’d just look down to see.
She’d always want to be, near me; nearly drove me to insanity.

Thousands of miles, she’d keep the pace; one 60-mile backpack trip and I was amazed.
Ate a ball of dough, licked her digestive waste; I fed her dark chocolate, just to taste.
Dime ran wild through the city trails and streets; only took a couple years before I used a leash.
That maniac dog never ceased; needed 4 hours of exercise before I had some peace.

She motivated me when I was lazy, to achieve my dreams; she was always there for me as solace in times of need.
Before she used to beg for food, but with failing liver and spleen; I couldn’t stand to see her start to dislike her own feed.
Her final painful days were almost too much for me to take; my miracle-worker mom provided end-of-life care, for cripes sake.
The time and energy to adopt this dog was a large cost to pay; but now she’s gone I miss my Diamond every single day.


The first picture I have of Diamond, the day I adopted her on November 5, 2013.

Diamond loving a sunny car ride back home after a fun adventure in the woods.

Being a goof-nut.

Diamond at the Saint Louis River, in her true natural habitat.


Secure the payload.

Brace for impact.


Of over 1,350, this is the last photo I took of Diamond. She was badly in pain, suffering from internal bleeding due to liver failure. She passed away an hour later, on April 15, 2023, which was 9 days before her 11th birthday.


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